Making Sub-Goals

I've gained 12 pounds since moving back to Halifax.

There, I said it. (Malorie, please don't hate me!)

I have not been exercising. I have not been running. I have not been eating properly. I have not been drinking enough water. I have not been taking my medication. I have not been blogging about any of it.

Sorry guys. It was a harsh winter over here, soul-crushing even. It's the last week in April and there is STILL snow on the ground here, people!

My husband is off school for a little bit, so I took advantage this morning and went for a long brisk  and emotional walk around the South End and tried to organize my thoughts as they are all jumbled up in my brain and I've had a hard time thinking clearly.

Once of my first coherent thoughts was this: I just wish that after a shower I can wrap a towel around me and actually have it wrap all the way around! Can I not even achieve that!?

I made a goal for myself last summer - to take control of my life, to live a healthy life, to love myself, and to LOSE WEIGHT! 100 pounds to be exact. It was a huge goal and I cried pretty hard when I realized that it was one I had to make. It's been 8 freaking months and honestly feel I am starting back a square one. It's a sucky feeling. It's a helpless feeling. It's a this-is-such-a-huge-goal-I-can't-see-the-finish-line kind of feeling. And I keep stumbling backwards.

So...

I'm going to try something new. To help a little with seeing where I am now and where I want to get to, I created a quick chart with some of my weight loss sub-goals.

Except for the last one, I have been at all these different weights at some point in my adult life.

Currently I am at 234lbs. It's a new start.

Me TODAY!

I was 225lbs just earlier this year, before gaining back weight I had previously lost.
Stupid winter.

I was at 200lbs in 2009 just before getting pregnant with my first child. It was only months after getting married and I had gained a bit of post-wedding weight. I was really uncomfortable in all of my clothes. But I was trying to get pregnant so I was looking forward to a life of elastic waistbands and "eating for two."

January 2009

I was 185lbs when I got married in 2008. It was around this time/weight that  I was happy with my body and had a positive body image. I felt sexy and strong and vibrant. I have never felt so good as I did that year.

August 2008

I was 165lbs in 2006/2007. I was at my lowest weight. But . . . honestly . . . hmm. I don't know how I should write this. I've talked about this with friends and family, but it feels really weird typing it. Here's the thing: I had a full-on eating disorder. I was bulimic for nearly a year. So yeah, I was thin and had a "normal BMI" but my body was weak and broken, and I definitely did not love myself. When I get back to this weight again, it will be because I love myself and I will have done it the healthy way. Booyah!

February 2007

I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. I CAN lose 100lbs but I have to lose 10lbs first. I just need to take this one step at a time, one pound at a time and I need to STAY ON TRACK! And pretty soon I'll be wrapping my whole self in that fluffy white towel with no hip/thigh peeking bursting out :)

Tools for Success

Hello All!

I am refocusing . . . again. I get overwhelmed so easily by life and I quickly forget the things I need to have/do if I want to be healthy and to reach my weight loss goals. I had a solo brainstorm session and made a list of the tools I need to keep me on the right track. 

And here they are:

1. Running Shoes: Like I've stated before, I never thought that I would ever be a runner. But by starting simple yet still pushing myself to go faster and longer, I have learned to love running. (I still wouldn't classify myself as a runner . . . yet.) Running has been difficult lately as I don't own a treadmill and am relying on the weather. But I still haven't given it up.

2. Exercise Mat: I am falling in love with yoga. I only do quick 20 minute routines, but I look forward to doing it each day (and so do my children!). I've also been using this mat for some of my other at home workouts that involve some type of HIIT workout.

3. Weigh Scale: I wasn't sure if I wanted to add this to the list of "tools for success",  because this challenge of mine isn't just about weight (as the blog title suggests). But let's be real here: I am trying to lose weight! and stepping on the scale is an important tool to keeping myself of track.

4. Water: "Water is the essence of moisture, and moisture is the essence of beauty." Sorry . . . I couldn't help myself. But here's the truth: Drinking water is the essence of health.

5. Scriptures: Reading the scriptures gives me understanding. From reading the word of God I come to learn about who I am and God's love for me. Knowing this gives me strength and purpose.

6. Good Food: I love food, a LOT. It may not be the most convenient or inexpensive, but if I am to be successful I need to fill my cupboards, fridge, and freezer with good food - healthy food - REAL food.

7. Health Journal:  This is certainly an invaluable tool. Writing things down, for me, is important as my ming has difficulty focusing or remembering. I use it to record workouts, recipes, feelings, tracking my weight/measurements, ideas, resources, etc.

8. Music: Have you even tried going for a run or workout without tunes? I did once. It sucked.

9. Medication: I will talk more, I'm sure, about how I found my way to being diagnosed with depression, but for now let me just say that I am not ashamed of needing medication in order to feel "normal". I have ADD and Depression. I used to think that I was weak and/or crazy and that I just needed to try harder at being normal and happy. Not so. Although it does take a fair amount of work and self-mastery on my part, I don't think that I would be successful without proper medication.

AND LET'S NOT FORGET THE IMPORTANCE OF A SUPPORT NETWORK! Having a spouse and family supporting me in my goals is vital. And I cannot thank Mal and TJ enough for their council and direction thus far. And you guys! Your love and encouragement has meant the world to me. I would say to anyone wanting to start living a healthier life, that they need to surround themselves with like minded people.

I can do this!

We can do this!

Yoga: DayONE

Well hello there.

If you know me, you know that I am the least flexible person, I have bad balance, a bad knee, and I'm clumsy. So what does a person like me try to do??

Yoga.

After I had injured my back a few months ago, a friend of mine made a suggestion of buying a simple yoga DVD and trying out yoga at home. Not only is yoga great for improving your balance, and flexibility, apparently it is great for building up you core which helps protect yourself from injuries.

Two weeks ago I bought a 2 disc DVD set at Costco for $14 (pretty darn cheap, right?) with the well planned intention of doing yoga in the mornings before the craziness of the day ensues. Well, two weeks have gone by and, by golly, I love my sleep and have a really hard time walking up even just 20 minutes earlier than my girls do. Then during the day I make excuses that conditions are never perfect enough for me to be able to do yoga (or exercise at all) and I put it off . . . until TODAY! I need to keep reminding myself that if I wait for all the stars to align (kids asleep/happily occupied, house clean, laundry folded, etc.) before I roll out my exercise mat and put a sports bra on, I am never gonna exercise! No more making excuses.

So today, I did a 20 minute yoga routine and it was lovely. Like I said, I am not flexible, AT ALL, and my balance is poor, but I still enjoyed doing the routine to the best of my ability. While trying to figure out all the breathing and going through some of the poses I thought "Wow. I really suck at this. It's going to be really cool to see how much better I'll get as I keep doing this."

This is me trying to touch my toes. As you can see I actually can't touch my toes, nor have I ever been able to. I remember back to gym class in elementary school feeling sad that I couldn't touch my toes when other girls could lay completely flat on their legs, wrapping the hands around their feet. While I may never get to be that flexible, my goal to to ONE DAY TOUCH MY TOES. Ha!

I hope hope that you get to try out yoga, too :)

I'm Back

Wow.

I mean . . . just . . . wow.

Has it really been more than 2 months?

Things got a little crazy over here and the days months just kind of flew past. Lot's of stuff has gone on  and I'm sure I could go on and on in a gargantuan post, but I'm going to choose to tell you what's been up in my life in this point form list:

November:
- Started part-time work at a mall kiosk for the pre-Christmas season; working 20 hours/week
- Went to see a doctor (finally) and was formally diagnosed with Depression. Yup.
- Started on anti-depression medication

December:
- Continued p/t work
- CHRISTMAS!
- Moved our family across the country. I'm a Haligonian again!

I am looking forward to getting back into a routine again. I don't know what that routine will look like. But I know that it will involve more yoga and running, and far less late-night bowls of cereal. Ha!

Anyways, I just wanted to let you know
I'm back.

Curse You, Chocolate!

I love Halloween. It's one of my favourite holidays. I loved it when I was little, and I love it now. And I LOVE seeing how much my girls love it, too. I loved watching them walk around in their little costumes I made for them, carrying their little buckets. Even though we only went around to a few houses, their buckets filled up quite quickly because there were several houses that were giving out FULL SIZED chocolate bars! At the end of the night, our girls came home with 10 large chocolate bars! Seriously!? I remember when I was a young trick or treater, and there would be that one house that would give out full-seized chocolate bars and you would go out of your way to make sure you made it to that house.

At the end of the night, I took all the big chocolate bars and stashed them away in the cupboard, separate from all the other halloween loot (which they still had a lot of). I don't know exactly why I did this. I should have just asked Tanner to take them an hide them somewhere in the house, so I couldn't find them, BECAUSE . . . .

. . . today I ate three of those chocolate bars. 

Please, excuse me while I hang my head in shame in a corner somewhere. Well, that's what I feel like doing. Actually, what I really feel like doing is drowning my sorrows in another chocolate bar, like somehow in some insane irrational way, that will make it all better.

But I won't. 

Instead, I am going to do the workout that Malorie planned for me to do. Even though I reeeeeeaaally don't feel like it. From what I've been told, when it comes to things like exercising, feeling like you don't want to do it usually means that it is even more important that you DO do it. 

So, I'm going to exercise, even though I don't want to.

TODAY'S WORKOUT:

Hit the Deck!

I've done this workout before and described it a bit in this blog post. 

All you need is a deck of cards! Spades are squats, Clubs are push-ups, Diamonds are sit-ups, and Hearts are burpees. Whatever the value on the card is how many reps you do of the exercise (and all face cards are 10 reps). So, if you flip over a 4 of clubs you do push-ups. If you flip the queen of hearts you do 10 burpees. Get it? It's a pretty intense workout, but it keeps you on your toes as you don't know what card you're going to flip next. By the time your done, you will have completed 85 reps of each exercise. If you keep the Jokers in the deck you can choose to do something extra. Last time I played this, I did 2 minutes of cardio. But I think I'll do a 30 second plank when I flip over a Joker.

Have fun!

New Hair!

In September, I reeeeeeaally wanted/needed a hair cut. I don't get hair cuts very often (like, once a year or even less than that), so when I do it's a big deal and I talk to Tanner about it first. I knew that this time I wanted to get my hair cut AND highlighted, which meant an expensive salon visit. Tanner told me to go for it, but only AFTER I lost my first 25lbs. Whaaa!? He is so cheeky. He could have just said yes, instead he made my yearly hair appointment into a reward. And I was excited and happy to wait and work to lose that first 25. 

At the beginning of October I was 5lbs away from the goal, so I phone my hair stylist and set up an appointment for the beginning of November, planning (and crossing my fingers) that I could keep my act together enough to reach my goal.

October 31st, I got a phone call from the salon reminding me of my appointment for the following day, and I had TOTALLY forgot about it!! I hadn't even weighed myself in a while and wasn't sure how close I was to being 225lbs. (October was an off month.) 

The morning of the appointment, I stepped onto the scale and saw that I was at 224.8lbs!

I did it! . . . without really knowing that I had, even. Ha!

And here is my new hair! I'm still getting used to being so blonde and surprise myself when I look in the mirror, but I love it :)

TODAY'S WORKOUT:

As many rounds as possible in 5 MINUTES:

- 10 push-ups

- 20 lat pull downs with resistance band (Demo video here)

Rest (sort of) for 2 minutes, BUT you have to complete 50 rope jumps in that 2 minutes.

Then as many rounds as possible in 5 MINUTES:

- 20 squats

- 20 back extensions

2 minute rest with 50 rope jumps

Then as many rounds as possible in 5 MINUTES:

- 10 burpees

- 10 seated toe tap downs (sorry, I couldn't find a good video of this one. One day I will be amazing enough to create my own demo videos.)

Finish off with 50 rope jumps!

This workout is fun and as intense as you make it depending on how fast you push yourself. And since it's all timed, you know your going to complete the workout in 20 minutes!

Have a great week everyone!!!

Take THAT Banana Split

I said no to this, today.

We had the missionaries over for supper,

and after the meal I headed into the kitchen to prepare dessert with my mother-in-law.

After making banana splits for the adults/kids, I started to mindlessly prepare my own.

Out of HABIT!

I stopped myself right away, and my MIL asked me if I was going to have one.

"Nope!"

TODAY'S WORKOUT!

2 Rounds for Time:

25 squats

25 sit-ups
25 push-ups

10 burpees

25 back extensions (demo video here)

50 tick rocks (25 with weight in right hand first and then switch to the left for another 25)

20 lunges

50 step-ups (25 for the right and 25 for the left)

25 bicep curls

25 overhead press (demo video here)

25 thrusters (demo video here)

Malorie called this "a little bit of everything". I'd sure say so!